


Love Doesn't Discrimate

by Trekkiehood



Category: 18th Century CE RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: 1798, Affairs, Alexander Hamilton Has Anxiety, Alternate History, Anger, Concussions, Confusion, Crying, Divorce, Duelling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Head Injury, Heartbreak, Historical Accuracy, Historical Inaccuracy, Hurt Alexander Hamilton, Insecure Alexander Hamilton, Love, Medical Bleeding, Medical Inaccuracies, Misunderstandings, New York City, No Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Politics, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-10-12 05:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20558957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trekkiehood/pseuds/Trekkiehood
Summary: On a July night in 1791, Maria Reynalds knocks on the wrong door. This causes history to play out in a very different, more pleasant way. Until 1798 when another scandal rocks Hamilton's life.When an old friend of Eliza's appears in New York City, Alexander soon realizes there is much more than a simple friendship between them.Alexander loves Eliza and wants nothing more than her happiness. This desire, coupled with his numerous and deep insecurities, may do more harm than good.





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One decision and history changes.

_July 1791_  
_Maria_

The summer heat was barely offset by the gentle breeze. Maria felt a chill run down her spine. It had nothing to do with the weather. She glanced around the quiet street. Her husband had told her to find Alexander Hamilton. She was to ask for money and... something else.

She had a little problem obeying. She despised her husband. This man, Hamilton, was quite prestigious and quite handsome too. If this provided for her and her daughter, it would be worth any price. No, it wasn't the moral applications that caused her to stall. The difficulty she was having was much simpler than that. She was lost.

She glanced between the many doors. Making her decision, she finally picked a house. Even if it wasn't him, her husband would be satisfied with money. Surely she could get something from whoever opened the door.

Maria knocked, her fist frantically slamming against the door. The more distressed she appeared, the more pitty they would have.

After a moment, the door opened and a man, unfortunately not Hamilton, opened the door.

"Can I help you, miss?" The man looked as if he had just gotten out of bed.

"Please, sir," she began to sob, "you must help me. My husband, oh, my terrible, terrible husband, you must help me!"

"What's your name?" The man asked in a calming manner.

"Maria," she cried, "Maria Reynalds. M-my husband, he-he's gone! He left me and my child alone! H-how can I go on?!"

She was telling the half-truth. Maria couldn't even bring herself to feel guilty. She would do anything to get away from her husband, even if only for a few nights.

"Do you wish for a divorce?"

The question caught her off guard. It was a way to get away. "C-could, could I- No, it would never work. I j-just need-"

"Ma'am," he interrupted, somewhere between exasperated and compassionate. "My name is Aaron Burr. I'm a lawyer, I can help you. But first, you need to tell me what's going on."

This was it. Her way out. She could get away from her wretched husband and still find a way to care for her child.

"I would very much like your help, sir." She finally conceded.

All thoughts of Alexander Hamilton had been forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think of this!
> 
> I have this planned out a good ways and hope to update on Saturdays.
> 
> Any constructive criticism welcome.
> 
> Thanks for reading!   
Please comment if you liked it!
> 
> God bless,  
Jamie Dawn


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stranger helps Alexander home after an accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's early. I'm extremely impatient. I'm half tempted to publish everything I've written in this story right now...   
We'll just have to see how long my self-control can last. 
> 
> This is the first chapter and will set the story in motion.
> 
> Please enjoy!

_January_ _17_97

_Alexander_

The light snowfall made a soft pitter-patter noise as he pulled his coat up around his neck. Alexander had always hated the cold. There was something menacing about it, especially after the holidays. If it was going to be cold, at least it could bring some cheer.

He clutched his briefcase closer as he walked, wishing to already be home. He had so much work to get done and was already expected to attend Angelica's party this weekend. He truly loved his sister-in-law, but he simply didn't have time for such things. Alexander was exhausted, but his work never stopped. He was still trying to make up for all the money he lost during his years as Secretary-Treasurer. He had to care for his family.

A small gasp escaped his lips as his foot slipped on a patch of ice. He instinctively clutched his briefcase tighter, afraid to lose it and the papers he'd spent hours working on.

His back connected with the frozen ground, his head slamming solidly in sync. A small wheeze escaped his lips as a dazed feeling washed over him. He laid there for a moment trying to regain focus.

"Sir! Are you well?" A gentleman who looked to be around Alexander's own age was peering down on him.

The man on the ground blinked a couple of times before the words held any true meaning. Alexander smiled sheepishly, hating to have made such a fool of himself in public. "Just a small slip."

The gentleman helped him to his feet. Hamilton moved to step away from his grasp but nearly fell again when his balance failed him.

The man hastily grabbed Alexander's arm. Even after Alex had regained balance, his head was still viciously spinning.

"Allow me to help you home, sir." The man gave the stumbling man a troubled look.

Alexander pushed himself away, "No, I assure you that I am... Quite... Capable." He stumbled only to once again be rescued by the mysterious man.

"I must insist, sir."

Hamilton gave a short nod, trying to ignore the rolling in his stomach.

The man smiled. "Ezra Jamison,"

"Alexander Hamilton," He answered, trying to keep any dignity he had left intact.

As they awkwardly walked towards his home, Alexander attempted to continue the small talk Jamison had started. It was mainly a one-sided conversation as Hamilton, for once in his life, had no desire to speak. It was likely the talk was nothing more than keeping him conscious. He must have hit his head harder than he thought.

"I'm originally from Albany,"

Alexander shook his head slightly. It was rude to completely ignore the one who was speaking to you.

"I'm only here in the City for a few months."

"Business?" Hamilton inquired quietly. His head truly was pounding at this point.

"Among other things." The man seemed to brush off the question.

They arrived at the Hamilton household. Even though it was quite late, there were still lights on.

Alexander clumsily pushed open the door. "Eliza," he called out weakly.

"Alexander?" She appeared, a worried frown on her beautiful face. When she caught sight of her husband, barely conscious, leaning on another man for support, she rushed forward.

"What happened?" She said taking part of his weight on herself.

Alex tried to smile reassuringly. "It is nothing, my love, I'll be fine. I just need to sit for a moment."

When he was finally set down in the parlour, he closed his eyes, leaning his head back. Eliza knelt down beside him.

"What happened?" She sounded frightened. Alexander couldn't allow for that.

"I slipped," he gave an embarrassed smile. "It's nothing serious I assure you." He lightly kissed her hand. "Just a slight headache."

He heard her sigh, but he couldn't bear to open his eyes at the moment. The chair he was sitting in shifted and the weight of his wife's hand was removed.

"Thank you, sir," Eliza said, "I really... Appreciate...." She trailed off.

Confused by the sudden silence, he worked his eyes open. There he saw his wife staring at the stranger, her mouth slightly open. Ezra had the same surprised look on his face.

Hamilton got his first good look at his rescuer. He appeared to be correct in his age estimation. Even in a better light, the man looked around forty. He had dark eyes and even darker short cut hair. It was a stark contrast to the man's pale skin. He was clean-shaven and was wearing a finely tailored suit. Clearly a man of a higher class.

"Jamison?" Eliza breathed, breaking the silence.

The man in question blinked as if truly seeing her for the first time. "Eliza? Eliza Schuyler?"

"It's Hamilton now," she said with what appeared to be a blush.

Alexander felt a wave of jealous insecurities wash over him. "I'm sorry," he interrupted, attempting to keep his voice light. "But I feel as though I am missing something."

"This is Ezra Jamison." His wife supplied, "we," she paused a moment, "knew each other when we were children."

"You are quite a lucky man, Mr Hamilton." Ezra smiled at him.

It felt fake, much like the smile Jefferson would give at the end of a Cabinet Meeting.

Alexander gave a weak attempt to smile back. He was overreacting. The man was right, he was very lucky to have Eliza. He had no reason to feel any jealousy towards him.

"I really must be going." Jamison nodded to Hamilton then turned to Eliza. "I do hope we get a chance to catch up."

"I would like that," Eliza smiled.

Alexander felt sick to his stomach. Whether that was due to his fall or the scene was playing out in front of him, he was unsure. Then the man turned and was gone. He allowed his eyes to slip closed.

"Hey," He felt his wife leaning over him. "No, sleeping." She pressed a kiss to his lips. His eyes once again opened when she pulled away. "Come on," she grabbed him by the arm. "Off to bed."

They clumsily made their way upstairs. He wanted to go straight to bed, but Eliza insisted he change. Stifling a groan, he allowed her to help. The aching in his head had done little but increase.

When he was finally lying down, Eliza crawled into bed beside him and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Love you." He whispered.

The smile didn't completely erase the concern in her eyes, but it certainly did help. "I love you, too. Now sleep. We'll see how you feel in the morning."

Alexander pulled her into a kiss before allowing his exhaustion to take claim.

He was overreacting, he tried to assure himself. Eliza was his. No one could take that away.

**~TH~**

**So, Ezra Jamison, any thoughts? **

**Get used to him now as he will be a main character going forward. :)**

**Alexander is so cute when he's jealous. Like... honestly. **

**Please comment! They are what I live for!**

**Until next Friday/Saturday/or just whenever I can't take it anymore and post a new chapter.**

**God bless,  
Jamie**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Ezra Jamison, any thoughts? 
> 
> Get used to him now as he will be a main character going forward. :)
> 
> Alexander is so cute when he's jealous. Like... honestly. 
> 
> Please comment! They are what I live for!
> 
> Until next Friday/Saturday/or just whenever I can't take it anymore and post a new chapter.
> 
> God bless,  
Jamie


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza is worried for her husband. Then she receives a visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next chapter!   
I have decided that I will update on Friday's because I am super impatient.
> 
> And disclaimer, I'm no doctor so this chapter (but especially the next one) might seem extremely stupid, but just go with it :)
> 
> Enjoy!

_January 17_98  
_Eliza_

The cries of her infant brought her out of blissful sleep. Blinking herself awake, she turned in the darkness. As quietly as possible she lit a lamp and picked her son up out of the cradle.

"Shh," Eliza cooed, "is somebody hungry?"

As she prepared to feed, she looked over at her husband. His eyes were closed as he breathed evenly. She smiled at the sight. It wasn't very often she managed to catch him asleep, much less in bed.

Her smile faded. Her husband was working himself sick. The only reason he was in bed was because of an injury. If Jamison hadn't found him and brought him back...

Ezra. It had been such a long time since she had seen him.

_"My dear, Eliza," he said pushing a stray hair behind her ear, "you know my feelings towards you. I have not kept them hidden. If only you would agree to marriage. Then I could give you everything you deserve and so much more."_

She had turned him down. After her parent's response to Angelica and John's marriage, she had been warry to truly partake in a serious relationship.

Then she had met Alexander. Eliza had found herself caring little of her parent's opinion. She loved him and wanted to be with him. It was the young Hamilton who had insisted on making everything propper. She was, of course, glad that it had been done as such. Her father adored Alexander and had readily accepted him as a son.

When she had finished nursing, she put William back in his cradle. She would let her husband sleep for now.

With one last smile at the sleeping form, she went to wake her other children.

~H~

"Phillip love, take your elbows off the table." Eliza gently scolded.

Her eldest son jerked his arms back and smiler back sheepishly. He took the book he had been studying and moved it under his seat.

William was placed in the wooden playpen before she took her place at the table.

"Where's Papa?" Her six-year-old, John, asked wiggling in his seat.

She smiled at him, "He's asleep." When she had gone in to get William, he hadn't even stirred.

Philip glanced at her in seeming disbelief. "He's asleep?"

"Is he sick?" Angelica frowned.

"He's fine," she assured, "but he needs rest." More than the children even knew. Eliza had started to notice the deep lines etched in his face. The exhaustion was so palpable there were days when she wanted to force him to rest. Nothing she said ever seemed to convince him. Her husband was working himself to death and there was nothing she could do.

Clearing her throat, she turned back to her oldest. "Phillip, will you please say Grace?"

~H~

"Alexander?" Her husband had appeared only moments after the children were sent to school. He looked even worse than he had the night before. He was a shade paler than his already sickly parlour. The rings under his eyes had been, if anything, darkened by his full night's sleep. He stumbled down the stairs, moving dangerously on his feet.

"Good morning, Love." He gave a weak smile.

"Should you be out of bed?" Eliza made her way over to him, drawing him into a kiss. He didn't feel warm. "Maybe you should see the doctor."

"No, I'm fine. Just... Tired." He conceded with a sigh.

She hated seeing him like this, exhausted past his limit. "Stay home with me." She whispered into his neck.

"I can't," he sounded disappointed. Eliza pulled back, looking into his eyes. "I have so much I need to do."

Pushing away from his wife, he rubbed his temples.

"Headache?"

He grunted in response. "I need to go. I'm already late."

"You're sick. You can take a day off-"

"Not if you enjoy living in a house." He snapped.

Eliza stood shocked for a moment. He rarely spoke to her in such a way. Only when he was truly distressed or angry. And he never brought up their failing finances if he could help it. Instead of annoyed, she grew even more concerned.

Alexander pressed the palm of his hand between his eye. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." His voice was pitifully weak.

"All's forgiven." She tried to muster a smile. "If your headache gets worse, come home." She said, placing a kiss on his forehead.

"Promise." He kissed her back.

Eliza watched with a sigh as her husband half walked, half stumbled out the door.

~H~

Angelica's tutor was late. It was not of serious consequence as Eliza was just as capable of teaching her as any college graduate, but they were paying him. Alexander felt very deeply that things should be done properly. She suspected it had to do with the fact that, in his own childhood, nothing had been done properly. She never argued with him, though if he continued to work himself to death over finances, she would have to.

A knock at the door brought Eliza's attention away from her embroidery. The noise must have woken her sleeping child as a cry was heard from the downstairs nursery. "Angelica, see to William." She was going to have words with the tutor.

Opening the door, Eliza prepared to give a speech about being on time and how improper it was to appear at such a late hour and wake her sleeping infant. She was caught off guard, however, when she was met with a bouquet of flowers.

"Jamison?" She gaped, "How on earth did you find flowers in the middle of January?"

Ezra gave a slight bow, handing over the flowers. Eliza giggled in spite of herself.

"Such a beautiful lady deserves nothing less than a spot of brightness in such dreary weather." He smiled.

Eliza blushed, "I've forgotten myself, please come inside."

When they entered the parlour, Angelica was sitting on the couch making faces at William.

She looked up, noticing the company. "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize-"

"Oh, think nothing of it. Your mother used to do the same thing to her siblings."

Eliza swatted playfully at Ezra's arm.

The fifteen-year-old girl glanced between her mother and the man she had never met.

"This is my eldest daughter, Angelica. Angelica, this Ezra Jamison. We knew each other when we were children."

"Angelica? Named after your sister I presume?" He addressed to Eliza.

She nodded. Then she remembered, "Speaking of my sister, she's having a dinner party this Saturday. You should attend with us!"

"Oh, I wouldn't want to impose-"

"I insist!" She smiled, "Angelica won't mind at all!"

"I suppose I could attend if you are sure your sister won't mind. She can be terrifying."

Eliza laughed, "I'm sure. I'll send a proper invitation later tonight. Where are you staying?"

"I'm boarding with Mrs Brubaker for the time being."

"Such a sweet lady." She smiled.

He nodded, as they both walked back towards the door. "Well, I must be on my way. It was a pleasure seeing you again." He lightly kissed her hand.

"Thank you for the flowers," Eliza said in answer.

Jamison gave another curt bow, then left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yup. Sick Alex and caring Eliza.
> 
> And... Sweet(?) Ezra. Being a good friend to her.
> 
> More on Alex's injury in the next chapter!
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think!
> 
> God bless,  
Jamie


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander is more injured than he originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some more medically inaccurate Hamilton whump!  
Please enjoy!   
Warning for blood and vomiting.

_January 1798_  
_Alexander_

His head hurt.

Alexander leaned his head against the desk. Had he really hit it that hard? He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to wish away the pain.

"Mr Hamilton?" The voice caused his head to jerk up. The throbbing came back even stronger.

His eyes slowly focused on the man in front of him. "Peter?" He croaked, why was his throat so dry?

"Sir..." The assistant appeared nervous, "I, uh, I wanted to, uh..." He paused, "I was just wondering if you were feeling okay. You fell asleep at your desk..."

He had? How long?

"Maybe you should go home, sir. I mean, you've been training me, I could take care of things here if you're okay with it...."

Alexander wanted to argue. Wanted to make everyone understand just how much he had to do. But his head... He had to lay down.

The problem was he wasn't even sure he could make it home.

"Call a cab for me, I'll be out in a moment."

The boy's eyes lit up. "Of course, sir!"

After a few moments of collecting himself and trying to calm his tumultuous stomach, he slowly rose to his feet and went to the waiting carriage. Turning to Peter, he gave a stern look. "I'm leaving you in charge, but remember, you work for me, not the other way around. I expect you to take care of my work, not make more for me, understand?"

"Oh, yes sir!" The boy was almost twenty, but he had the excitement of a small child on Christmas.

Alex clapped him on the back, "Good man. If anything comes up that you can't handle you know where I live."

With that final word of parting, he climbed into the cab. The small speech had left him absolutely exhausted.

He closed his eyes, wishing away the pain.

~H~

Alexander stumbled into his house. He had had to stop to vomit in the bushes. He tried to shake away the embarrassment.

Eliza saw him at the door. "Alexander?" She looked surprised to see him. Hadn't she made him promise to come home? Maybe he'd just imagined it. His head ached so bad he could hardly see straight.

"I think," he paused swallowing the bile that threatened to rise, "I think I-I'm going to lie down."

The concern in Eliza's face magnified as he tried to make his way toward the stairs. He pitched forward suddenly, and would have fallen, had his wife not supported him.

"Come, let's get you in bed." She kissed his head tenderly.

He felt slightly ashamed, but couldn't bring himself to care as he melted into her embrace.

~H~

Alexander slept. The aching in his head only seemed to leave then.

He woke up to someone touching him. His eyes snapped open and he saw a doctor he didn't know.

Eliza gave a small smile. "Dr Hosack is out of town."

Hamilton nodded carefully, he didn't feel much like conversing.

The unknown doctor was speaking, he really should be paying attention. Why was focusing so hard. "-swelling of the brain,"

Oh. He heard that. And Eliza's gasp. That might have been worse. 

"I can let some blood to release the pressure. Even so, he might be plagued with nausea, headaches, and forgetfulness." The doctor continued. 

Alexander hated medical bleeding. His mother had been bled. She died. He didn't see much use in it.

The look on his wife's face made him inwardly sigh. She was worried. Maybe it would at least give her peace of mind. 

"Just... don't let out too much," he mumbled. 

"Of course Mr Hamilton, Mrs Hamilton-"

"I'll stay."

Alexander smirked at the look that crossed the doctor's face.

"Ma'am, I really must insist-"

"I'm staying."

The injured man let out a soft laugh, "I'd give it up, doc. If she doesn't want to leave, she's not leaving."

The doctor sighed, "Very well then, Mrs Hamilton, if you would please get something to collect the blood."

She quickly fetched the washbasin, bringing it to him.

"Hold it here." He directed her hand. Alexander let his eyes slip back closed. "Now, I will make a small incision on your left arm."

"I am quite familiar with the procedure, doctor. Proceed as you wish."

There was no answer, but he likely nodded as the blade was brought down on his arm.

He couldn't stop the small hiss from escaping his lips.

It was painful, it always was. This was not the first time he had been told that the only treatment was to let blood. With his propensity for illness, it likely wasn't his last. This was the reason he prefered Dr Hosack. His physician tended to shy away from common medicinal practices, opting for a more plant-based medicinal rout.

Bloodletting always made him tired, and his rest had done little to chase away his headache.

He allowed himself to fall asleep.

~H~

The next morning he awoke with his headache slightly lessened, but feeling very weak.

"It's the bloodletting." Eliza's voice caused him to turn his head.

"I need to work." He wouldn't say he was thinking clearly, but the insistent pounding had trickled into a dull ache.

Eliza frowned slightly, "You need to rest. According to the doctor, you've suffered a brain injury and need to not overexert yourself."

"How long have I been asleep?" He asked, suddenly worried that he'd already slept several days. 

"Since yesterday."

At least he had only wasted one day.

"Help me up." He was shaking slightly from the blood loss and while the headache had ebbed, the dizziness was still rampant, if not more pronounced.

Eliza crossed her arms, "If you wish to work, you can get up yourself."

"Fine." He attempted to push himself up, only to fall back the first time. He hated bloodletting.

His wife came over to the bed, leaning over him. "One more day." She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You can go back to work tomorrow."

Alexander nodded. " Tomorrow," he murmured, closing his eyes again.

He really didn't intend to actually fall asleep, it seemed his weakened body had other plans.   
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment! They make my day <3


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza attends her sister's party with her husband. When she runs into Jamison, things escalate quickly.

_January 1798_  
_Eliza_

"Are you sure you are up to it?" Eliza watched her husband as he slowly dressed. Though it had been nearly a week since the doctors visit, her husband was still struggling to recover.

His pain seemed to spike at random times and be almost non-existent at others. He was forgetful, but he had always had a tendency towards that. He still looked sickly at times, which concerned her. It didn't help that Alexander had returned to his work almost immediately.

"I'll be fine. I wouldn't want to disappoint Angelica, you know how she gets when she is angry with me."

She smiled indulgently, but the worry didn't leave her eyes.

"Though I may not be much fun." He let out a half-laugh.

"I'm sure you'll be wonderful." She leaned in for a long kiss.

It was broken short when Alexander swayed.

"Hamilton!" She reached out to steady him.

He smiled, embarrassment colouring his cheeks, "I'm fine, Love."

This was the reason he always fought against bloodletting. It took him days, often weeks to fully regain his strength. Eliza knew this, but she couldn't help feeling slightly relieved that something had been done.

Alexander seemed unconcerned with the doctor's assertion that he had likely injured his brain, only wondering how it would affect his return to work. She, on the other hand, had nearly panicked. The doctor assured her that he would recover in time, but the idea of losing him to something as insignificant as a winter fall left her feeling vulnerable.

The fear she had felt during the war came back in that moment. Never knowing If she would receive one of the dreaded condolence letters.

"If we don't go we're going to be late." Her husband's words brought her out of her morbid thoughts. Alexander kissed her cheek, taking her arm. "Shall we." He winked at her, eliciting a small laugh.

Alexander was healing, things would be fine.

~H~

Angelica's party was just as elegant as expected. It was held with all the grace of the English while still holding true to the young United States. The parlour had even been transformed into a makeshift dance hall.

Eliza watched the dancing couples. She was at the odd age where there were just as many people younger than her as older.

Alexander had danced once with her, but he had looked so pale that she had forced him to a seat. He was now engaged in a conversation of politics, something not at all unusual in such settings. It sometimes seemed the government had more ownership of her husband than she did.

"Well, Ms Schuylar!" Jamison had suddenly appeared at her elbow. "How good to see you here!"

Eliza laughed politely, "Ezra, it was I who invited you." She considered correcting him in calling her 'Schuylar' but decided that it was of little consequence.

"It was then! Still, it is always a delight to see you. I regret not being able to visit more in the past week."

"I'll admit I have been at fault as well. I intended to invite you to call, but my husband has been unwell."

A concerned shadow crossed the man's face. "Not too ill, I hope."

"No, it seems the fall caused a minor injury to his brain. He had me quite worried."

"My, that's awful!" He glanced around the room. "Is he here tonight?"

She nodded, "Yes, he is a deep conversation. I believe it may be in reference to the war in France."

"I see. Would he be opposed to me taking his bride to the dance floor?"

She blushed slightly, though she didn't know why. "I don't think he'd oppose."

They shared a quick-paced dance. Eliza found herself glancing at her husband, but he was too engrossed in his conversation to notice. Not that she was doing anything wrong. After all, Alexander had danced with Angelica many times.

"It's getting quite stuffy in here." The dance had been slowed to a basic waltz when Ezra offered, "Perhaps we should step outside for a moment."

Eliza hesitated. Surely it was not appropriate for her to be alone with a man, a former suitor, without her husband, or at the very least, his permission.

She looked back at him. He had barely even glanced at her all evening. He probably wouldn't even notice if she stepped out.

"That would be nice Mr Jamison." She smiled, taking his arm.

At the door, he handed Eliza her shaw, then lead her outside.

They stood together on the small porch.

"It's a beautiful night, " Eliza remarked, gazing up at the sky.

Ezra let out a short laugh, "A full moon on Friday the 13th."

"Yes," she smiled. "It's just so beautiful."

"Strange things can happen on such a night, especially in the presence of such beauty."

Eliza's eyes shifted and she realized Jamison wasn't looking at the sky, he was looking at her.

She blushed brightly, turning her head away. This was improper. She was married. More than that, she loved her husband. She needed to go inside. Needed to...

He leaned down and Eliza found herself frozen in place. As his lips met hers, her eyes slipped closed.

The kiss was long and deep, just like the one she had wished to share with Alexander. This time, there was no fainting or weariness. In fact, it was Eliza who finally pulled away.

Her eye widened as realization set in. She took a step back, turning away from him.

"Eliza, wait!"

She didn't stop, but hurried inside, taking off her shaw quickly.

"There you are, Eliza!" Her sister approached her, "I've been looking for you. What where are you doing outside?"

Angelica glanced around Eliza's shoulder. Luckily, Jamison had used common sense and not followed her inside.

"Attending to necessities." It was a lie. A flat out lie. The privy was on the other side of the house. She prayed her sister would not call her out on it.

Instead, she only raised an eyebrow, "Why is your face so flushed?"

"It's cold."

Angelica fixed her with a stare that said 'I know you're up to something and I will find out.'

Eliza blushed even harder. "I think it's time for my husband and I to retire." She slipped away.

Yes, her husband. Her husband who was left debating politics while she kissed another man.

She would have to tell him.

It would only be right.

He would forgive her, understand she had never meant it to go that far.

"Alexander," the men all quieted at her voice, "I'm quite tired." She hoped it didn't sound too forward. She just... Needed out.

"Of course my love." He gave her a concerned look before slowly rising to his feet.

Giving a slight bow to the other gentlemen, he took her arm and led her towards the door.

"Leaving so soon?" Angelica appeared, her husband, John Church, at her side. She gave a pointed look at Eliza. While Eliza knew her sister would never gossip about her, or even insinuate that something was amiss, she simply couldn't bring herself to tell her. Especially now, in a house full of people.

"Yes," Alexander saved her from having to answer. "I'm feeling tired." He nearly echoed her own words. "The party was lovely." He reached down and placed a kiss on Angelica's hand, before shaking John's.

After heading outside, Alexander went to call their carriage. Ezra was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he had left.

She looked back up at the sky. This was a mess.

Jamison was a handsome man, he always had been, but her heart truly lied with Alexander. And while Ezra was kind and a gentleman, she had pledged herself to her husband and never regretted it. Even now, she held not amnesty toward her wedding vows.

It was just a mistake in the moment. She had never insinuated or tried to catch his attention, right? She had been nothing more than a friend to him. It was he who had gone too far.

She would still have to tell Alexander. It was scandalous. If someone found out or, heaven forbid, someone saw the entire exchange and decided to publish it, he would need to know. This was exactly the kind of thing her husband's enemies would utilize. His political views were too open, too honest, to even be twisted, but his personal life, his marriage, that would be the perfect way to attempt to ruin him.

But no one saw. It was only the two of them. No one saw them leave and only Angelica saw her return. What if-

"Eliza," her husband had reappeared, "are you feeling unwell? You look a bit pale."

She took his hand. "No, I'm simply tired."

He helped her into the carriage, settling beside her.

They remained quiet as Eliza's thoughts were once again taken over.

What would happen if she did tell Hamilton? How would he react? He would likely turn around, find Jamison, then challenge him to a duel. Ezra would agree, likely taking it as a chance to win her affection and marriage.

She couldn't allow that. Not only did she abhor duels, but Alexander was in no condition for such a strenuous activity.

She couldn't bear to lose Alexander. She loved him above all else. The children needed their father.

She didn't love Jamison, only Hamilton.

She couldn't tell him. She just couldn't.

"Eliza?"

Her head jerked at her husband's voice, startled.

He gave her a quizzical look in the darkness. "Are you sure that everything is alright?"

"Yes," she responded after a moment. "Everything is fine." She wouldn't tell him, couldn't. Eliza leaned her head onto his shoulder, "I love you." She whispered.

He smiled back, placing a kiss in her hair, "I love you too."

As a cold, sick feeling grew in her stomach, she found herself praying that the guilt would fade with time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is by far my favourite chapter so far. If there is anything you would like to see over the next couple of chapters, let me know!
> 
> And stay tuned for my Whumptober collection! If you like Alex whump, you'll love it!
> 
> Anyway... so... Eliza. It's not like it's completely her fault... but... you know. What do you guys think? Should she have told Alex? Will her keeping it a secret help or fix the problem?
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> I LIVE off of comments.
> 
> God bless,  
Jamie


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander has a court case. He really misses his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pure filler. I apologize. But it's necessary for the next bit.
> 
> Let me know what you think!

_February 1798_   
_Alexander_

  
"As I'm sure the jury is well aware, the accused is a woman, a young woman at that." Alexander watched as the collection of men nodded hesitantly. "Is there any logic in the idea that she murdered a man of middle age? She is accused of murdering a man twice her size, a manual worker. How could she logically do anything to him that would even suggest that she is the murderer? She is simply a weak woman!" He felt himself grow ill at the very words.

He wouldn't believe it. Women could be just as powerful and forceful as men. Obviously, these men had never met Angelica.

While he was convinced of his client's innocence, no true evidence existed. He was grasping at straws, hoping for a release.

"Thank you, Mr Hamilton." Alexander nodded and took a seat. "The jury will now meet to make their decision."

This was the part he always hated. Waiting for a verdict.

Hamilton lightly jumped as a hand came down on his shoulder. "Let's be thankful my wife isn't here."

"Very true." He laughed, "It's good to see you, John, it's been a while."

"That it has been. You're quite a busy man."

Alexander sighed, rubbing his temples, "Yes, it seems I am always doing something. Never a moment to myself. Or my family."

John nodded.

"But I have to. It's not as if I could just stop working. We are so far in debt and-" his slumped position straightened, "I apologise, I shouldn't be burdening you with my troubles."

"You know it you are in need-" his brother-in-law's face softened.

"We will be fine. Thank you for your concern, but this case will be quite profitable. We'll be fine."

John looked sceptical and Alexander once again cursed his inability to keep his mouth shut.

After a moment of awkward silence, John nodded towards the door. "I should be going, it looks as though the jury is returning."

The courtroom settled into order and the foreman stood.

Hamilton felt uneasy about this case. True, it would bring forth a heavy sum, assuming that he won. He wasn't all too confident. Not because of his abilities, but because of the sheer lack of evidence he had. And the fact that the jury had returned so soon didn't speak well for him.

"We find the defendant,"

Alex held his breath. He really couldn't afford to lose this case.

"Not guilty."

"Your kidding." He closed his mouth quickly as heads turned to him. But he had won? With that defence? Where all men this stupid?

Among the claps on the back for a case well won, Alexander exited the courtroom. He suddenly felt ill. What kind of jury would take evidence like that? He should be grateful, but still.

Men could be idiots.

~H~

It was nearly midnight when he returned. Alexander was exhausted. He had been non-stop for nearly a month.

He had mostly recovered from his fall, though Eliza scolded him to not taking more time off. There was no way he could have. He had three different cases that he needed to work on.

He was finally done. All he had to do was fill out the last of the paperwork tomorrow. That could be done in his office. No more long rides to the courthouse. He was finally done and had quite a bit of money to show for it. Maybe he could finally take that break.

When he finally reached his house, it was dark. He felt slight disappointment at the sight. He had been spending the last several nights at an inn near the courtroom. The ride was several hours ride out and had saved a considerable amount of time, but he had missed his family. Seeing John had been a breath of fresh air to his lonely soul. He had been so looking forward to seeing Eliza, that he had left a day early. He had sent a message several days back stating his desire to return home early. He hadn't gotten a response. Perhaps she didn't receive it...

No matter. It was late. Regardless of if she knew of his return, she had the household to care for. She needed her rest. He hadn't really been here for her as of late.

Over the past month, they had grown apart. Not of any particular reason that he was aware. Perhaps it was him... But Eliza seemed distant. Her letters during a week-long stay in Albany held little of the usual warmth. The weeks he had spent at home had held very few of the meaningful conversations that normally passed between them late in the night. This past week had held no correspondence on her part.

Perhaps it was him

Perhaps he had done something to anger her. Maybe it was his work.

But this was his new chance.

Tomorrow.

He would leave the office early and spend the day with her.

Then a thought struck him, it was Valentines Day. Yes. The perfect opportunity.

He would surprise her.

Tomorrow, he would make up for all of his absences. And maybe this chill between them would finally be warmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The basic outline for the first part is based on a real case Alex did. The time period is all wrong, but I loved the story and needed a filler.
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> The next chapter is when things get... Interesting.
> 
> What do you think of poor insecure Alex?
> 
> He needs a hug.
> 
> Until next week!
> 
> God bless,  
Jamie


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander finds out. The result... It's not pretty.

_February, 1798_  
_Eliza_

  
She was so tired of this. So many secrets. She had never meant for this to get so out of hand. Eliza hadn't seen Ezra since that night at Angelica's party, but there had been letters. Lots of letters.

They were love letters. They were, in all honestly, beautiful. They were reminiscent of those Alexander had sent her years ago (though she had to admit they were nowhere near as elegant). She didn't love Ezra, but the attention he was showing her was... refreshing. Not that Alexander ignored her. No, it was nothing like that. He was just so busy...

She had written back to Jamison a few times. Only about half a dozen times. While that might seem extensive, it was nothing compared to the over twenty he had sent her in the past month. You'd think Alexander would start to notice something was wrong, but he was rarely home anymore. His injury had set him back on the cases he was working on, so he had to put all of his focus on them.

They were in debt. She knew this. He was simply trying to provide for his family. Under normal circumstances, she would likely understand, but Ezra... he was so kind. He seemed to truly want to be with her. And he had the resources that he would barely need to work.

But, no. She loved her Alexander.

Even if she had purposely kept him at arm's length. It had nothing to do with him. She just felt so guilty.

There was the fear that he would find Jamison's letters, yet she couldn't bear to get rid of them.

And every time her lips met Alexander's, all she could think of was her betrayal. But was it really her fault? He had been the one to initiate everything...

She felt even more guilty having not stayed up to wait for her husband the previous night. She always had before when he was to return home. It was just... the thought of facing him made her feel ill. It was easier to retire to her bed early than to attempt to speak to him.

She really had never meant for anything to go this far.

Alexander had stayed for breakfast this morning (something he hadn't done in weeks). She attempted to make it as though nothing was wrong. He gave her a kiss and wished her a happy Valentines day. She hoped her discomfort didn't show.

After that he had left, saying he had things to finish up.

After morning chores were done, she retired to her room. Angelica was caring for William.

In her room, she was rereading the letters. So many of them. All confessing his love for her, explaining how she would have so much more in life if she was only with him, and how she deserved much more than to be the wife of a poor politician.

But she loved Alexander more than anything in this life. He was already full of so many insecurities. If he ever saw anything of this nature, it would not only set him off in a fit of rage but also cause his self-doubt to multiply at a dangerous rate. She would see even less of his as he would try to make up for all the money lost. It was the opposite of what she wanted.

And yet, when he was home, she could hardly look at him without feeling guilty.

A light knock at the door caused her to jump. Before she could hide the letters surrounding her, the door opened.

"Eliza, my dear."

She spun around, the paper forgotten. "Ezra?"

"It is me, my love." He entered the room, shutting the door behind him.

Eliza stood, some of the letters cascading over the side of the bed. "What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you." He came forward, lightly holding Eliza. "I simply couldn't bear to be apart from you any longer."

She took a step away from him, "Ezra, this is absurd. I am married."

"Yes, I understand. I do. But it changes nothing of my love toward you. He is away on business, this may be the last chance I get to speak to you!"

"Ezra, he's not-"

"Eliza please." He halted her, looking into her eyes pleadingly. "I love you. And I can offer you so much more than he ever can. Here you are, a wife and a mother, living in a small townhouse. Are you truly content with this? From what I can gather, he's rarely even home! He has made more political enemies than allies! Is this life you want?"

Her response was barely more than a whisper. "Please leave."

"You know its true." He was standing close to her now. His hands rested loosely on her arms. If she really wanted to get away she could. She _should_. "I can give you everything you deserve. You would never want for anything. Trust me."

With that plea, he leaned down. This time Eliza saw it coming. She wanted to pull away. Her mind was screaming for her to get out. Then his lips met hers and time seemed to halt. Her eyes slipped closed as he continued with the passionate kiss.

She knew it was wrong. Her mind was screaming for her to stop. But, she couldn't make herself stop.

Her eyes snapped open as the kiss ended. She heard yelling but felt remarkably disoriented.

Someone else was in the room. There was a blur of yelling and movement. A body was shoved up against the opposite wall. There were raised voices, but she couldn't understand who the other person was but...

"Alexander?" She gasped.

Her husband spun around. His eyes were blazing with anger. His breathing was heavy and laboured.

Eliza couldn't breathe. "Alexander, please, I-I can explain-" Could she though? What kind of explanation could she offer?

"Get out." His voice was low, dangerously low.

Eliza's heart was hammering in her chest. "Alexander, please-"

"You," he spun around glaring at Ezra, "get out."

Jamison's face was frozen in shock. Not at the words, but at the fact that Alexander had appeared at all. In his mind, her husband was still on business.

"I said, get out!" His voice rose to a shout. "Get out of my house!"

He grabbed Ezra by the shirt collar throwing him towards the door. The man regained his composure, throwing one last glance at Eliza before straightening his shirt and walking away. 

Hamilton stayed staring out the door. He was shaking, she could hear his trembling breaths from across the room.

"Alexander?"

He stayed frozen in place. There was nothing to even insinuate he had heard her.

Finally, after an eternity, he slightly turned. Only half of his face was visible, but even then she could see the tears.

"Why?" The harshness was gone, replaced by a brokeness she had rarely heard. This was a tone reserved for the late nights when the stress had finally gotten to him, when Jefferson had settled a particularly low blow or the origin of his birth caused his self-doubt to take over his common sense.

Never, _never_ had she been the cause of it. Never had he looked at her like that. Never had the guilt of her husband's pain rested on her shoulders.

"Why? Why would you-? What did I-?" He made a choking noise, then he was running back down the stairs.

"No, Alexander, please, wait!" It took her a moment to realize her face was wet. "Please?"

He stopped for a moment, his hand on the doorknob. "This explains so much. I thought, I thought it was me, but-" he shook his head as a tear-filled laugh made it's way past his lips. "Happy Valentines Day."

The door slammed shut behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys.   
This chapter was so much fun to write. 
> 
> I'm so proud of it. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! 
> 
> How will Alex respond? hat about Eliza? What about Ezra? 
> 
> Love you guys ❤


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander confronts Jamison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one... is a doozy. This is the chapter I've been working towards since I started it.  
That being said, this one will probably be an emotional rollercoaster. Especially if you are as sympathetic towards Alex as I am...
> 
> Anyway... I'm so sorry that it's late. I don't really have much of an excuse other than I really wanted this chapter to be perfect so rushing it out wasn't an option.  
It's also considerably longer than my other chapters.
> 
> And hey, think about it this way. You get Eliza's response in three days instead of having to wait a week!
> 
> Anyway... please enjoy (and review, please review and comment)!

_February, 1798  
Alexander_

Alexander tried not to think. The hot tears froze against his face as he made his way down the frigid New York Street. Even though he had arrived in the American colonies almost two decades ago, he had never gotten used to the brutal winters. Many argued that if he could survive the winter in Valley Forge he should have no problem during a normal winter. It was true that he would survive, but it didn't mean he had to enjoy it.

_Eliza didn't love him._

Even if he had lived here a considerable time, there was no denying that he was born and raised (if that's what you want to call his upbringing) on the islands. Cold was rarely even thought of.

_Eliza had chosen Jamison over him._

Except for the Hurricane. That had been pretty cold. The water wasn't actually that bad. It was more of the memory. A cold feeling of fear and dread that gripped his heart every time he thought about it.

_No one really cared about him._

It wasn't the only thing that made him go cold inside. There was his father leaving. That had been hard. Especially on his mother.

_He was worthless._

His mother had died. She had worked too hard. Worked herself to death. That's what happens when you have two kids. One of which was a weak worthless individual who was always sick.

_He was right all along._

Alexander frantically scrubbed at his tear-stained face as he ducked into the building that housed his small law business. While his eyes no longer leaked the condemning liquid, he was sure that he looked a sight.

"Mr Hamilton? What are you doing back? I thought- have you been crying? What happened? Did something bad happen? Did-"

"Peter." The single word came out harsher than Alexander had intended

The boy's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, of course, sir. Sorry, sir. I'll leave you alone now."

Hamilton entered his office, firmly shutting the door behind him.

He was an idiot to think someone as perfect as Eliza could love him. He didn't deserve her love.

Nothing he could do would make him worthy of her.

Alexander sat at his desk, opening the closest book. His eyes stung slightly and the words occasionally blurred together, but the political ideals and law instruction pulled him away from his own thoughts.

"Um, Mr Hamilton?" The door opened slightly and a head appeared.

Alexander looked up, catching the wariness in his young aid. "Yes, Peter?"

The boy came into the room with a stack of envelopes, his hands fidgeting slightly. "Uh, the mailman was here and he asked if you were here so I told him yes and he said that he was running late and if it would be okay if he just went ahead and gave me your home mail so I said that was fine and I really hope that was fine but I wasn't sure and... Uh... Here." He laid the stack of envelopes on the desk before offering a hesitant smile.

Alexander gave a short laugh. "Thank you, Peter. You did the right thing."

The boy gave a full smile before hurrying out of the room.

Looking at the stack of letters, one of the envelopes caught Alexander's attention. It was of a cream colour with writing in a flowing scrawl. While this was not unusual in general, this particular letter was addressed to Eliza. The only letters she ever seemed to receive were from her family in Albany. This one was sent from inside the City. Angelica, though in the city, preferred to speak in person as did most other residents. There would be an occasional personal delivery, but why through the mail?

Jamison.

It had to be.

There was no listed sender. If this was an innocent letter, why should they hide their identity?

With trembling hands, he ripped open the envelope.

He was right.

_My dearest Eliza,_

_I was overjoyed received your most recent letter. I know I tend to write in excess, but it comes from my unfailing love for you._

_Since our last kiss, I have been unable to think of much else. I often imagine us once again standing on your dear sister's porch. My feelings towards you are unrivalled. Of that, I have no doubt._

_I hope to see you again soon, my love. I fear that when your husband returns our time together will end. Still, I pray to one day make you mine. You deserve a better life than you now have. A life I could give you._

_I think of you always._

_Yours,_

_Ezra Jamison_

Alexander gripped the letter tightly. This wasn't a one-time thing. Not that he had ever really thought it was. But he had... hoped? Hoped that it was an accident. A one time mistake that he had happened to walk in on.

_Since our last kiss..._

No.

This had been going on for a while.

_On your dear sister's porch._

Since the party.

_I pray to one day make you mine._

His intentions were never hidden. They were clearly stated.

_You deserve a better life than you now have. A life I could give you._

What was he insinuating? Surely Alexander had cared for Eliza. They may have been poor, but she had always assured him that they had enough. That their love was enough to fill any void left by failing finances.

Yet another lie.

He would not stand for this. He could not stand for this.

This was an attack on his honour. On his _wife_!

Still clutching the letter tightly between aching fingers, he stormed out of his office.

~H~

He couldn't confront Jamison by himself. Alexander wouldn't deny the fact that his temper burned hot. And while words were his weapon of choice, he occasionally reacted violently.

He planned to challenge Jamison to a dual. He intended to assure it was done properly.

While he doubted any court would convict him under the circumstances, he didn't want a murder charge hanging over his head. That was exactly the kind of thing that would ruin a politicians chances.

When Alexander reached the house where everything had started, he didn't even knock, walking straight through the door.

"Church!" He called, hoping his brother-in-law was home. "Church! I need to speak with you immediately!"

Angelica appeared from the kitchen while her husband came from the parlour.

"Hamilton?" Angelica watched him carefully.

"I need to borrow your husband."

John looked perplexed, "Alexander, I've just returned home. What's so important that I shouldn't be able to rest?"

"I need you to come with me and agree to be my Second should I require one." He worked to keep his tone level, though he wasn't sure if he succeeded.

Angelica's eyes widened, a slight paleness settling in her cheeks. "Do you intend to Duel?"

He nodded. "Should I need to."

"Alex-"

He locked eyes with John, "I'm going with or without you. This is a family matter and I will have none but you attend me. I will do it alone if I must, however, a witness is always advised." With one last glance at Angelica, he turned and walked out.

After hesitating a moment, he placed the wrinkled letter on a small entry table. Angelica deserved to know. Perhaps she could comfort Eliza better, if he should die, knowing the truth.

"John... please?" Alexander almost felt guilty at the fear in his dear sister's voice. But only a moment later, Church followed him out, putting on his coat as he went.

"Alexander, at least tell me what this is about."

"I intend to challenge Jamison to a Duel. I do not wish for any false accusations to be made against me as I have been known to lose my temper."

"Jamison? Eliza's friend?"

"Yes." He hissed, carrying out the 's' much longer than necessary.

John looked like he wanted to ask more questions, but kept silent.

Alexander once again didn't knock as he barrelled into Ms Brubaker's boarding house.

"Jamison!" He shouted, any facade of calmness gone.

His brother-in-law grabbed his arm. "Alexander-"

"No, no, it's quite alright." The voice came from the living area. "Mr Hamilton, Mr Church, please come in."

Alexander shook off the hand, turning to enter the room. "Jamison."

"Alexander," the man was sitting in a large blue armchair as if he had been waiting for the encounter. He likely had. "I'm surprised it took you so long. I got everything ready as soon as you so unceremoniously kicked me out of your house." He motioned towards the duelling pistols on the mantle.

Hamilton kept his voice flat. "If I had come here immediately you would likely be dead."

"And in a less honourable way, no doubt." He sighed, rising to his feet."You're lucky I don't press charges for your stunt earlier."

John shot him a concerned look.

Ignoring Church, he stared directly at Ezra. "I found you with my wife. I doubt you'd be able to find a courtroom in New York that would convict me."

The small gasp to his left denoted the fact that his brother-in-law was now aware of the affair. It was simultaneously distressing and comforting.

"Even so," Jamison seemed unperturbed, "I suppose you wish to settle this like men of honour."

Alexander eyed the guns, "Yes." The smug look on his opponent's face only strengthened Hamilton's resolve.

"Well, if a challenge is made, then I will, of course, accept. However," he gave a pointed look at Church, before shifting it back towards Hamilton, "I suggest you hear me out before doing anything foolish."

Alexander couldn't resist a glance at his brother-in-law. John's mouth had pressed into a thin line, the anger clearly having set in. This was his wife's sister they were talking about.

Church gave Hamilton an almost unperceivable nod.

"Speak your peace, but do not think you can easily change my mind or calm my rage."

"Of course," Jamison smiled in an almost a condescending way. "I simply want you to see the facts as I see them. You are nowhere near good enough for Eliza."

Alexander took an enraged step forward before John grabbed him tightly from behind. "Not now." he whispered holding Hamilton in place.

"It's true. And if you truly loved her, you'd see that." He began pacing a short distance, parallel to where his audience was standing. "She is perfect in every way imaginable and deserves everything in the world and more. What do you have to offer her? A failing law practice and being the wife of one of the most hated men in America? By embedding yourself so deeply into politics you have made it so that no one in your family can ever prosper. There will always be someone ready for the attack. On you and your family."

_Was he really-? He never meant to-_

"Shall I even mention your finances? Considering, of course, you want to call what little money you actually have 'finances'. I believe debt is the proper term. You intend for your wife and children to live off of so little while you travel throughout the States for your profession? How is this fair for Eliza? For your children?"

_He was trying! Why could nobody see that? Would nothing ever be enough? Could he ever be enough?_

"You can duel me. But what would that accomplish? If you die, you leave a widow and six fatherless children. I could marry her, but how would that look? I can tell by the face of our dear Mr Church that it would never be accepted by her own family, much less the rest of New York. How soon after, could I marry her without it looking suspicious? Do you really wish for her to be brought under such public scorn? You know what the papers will say, how people talk. You, more than anyone, knows how vicious it all can be. Is this what you wish to expose her to?"

_No..._

"But if I die, then what? Do you plan to stay married to her? To quench any happiness that might be left within her? She loves me, Hamilton. She has said so. She loves me and wants me as much as I want her. Would she have consented if not? You saw that it was not against her will.

"Would you stay married to her, knowing that she was an adulterer? You would have the right to divorce her. It's what would be expected of you. Then what of the children? And this is all assuming that they drop the charges of a duel, which is, in fact, illegal in New York.

"The choice is truly up to you Mr Hamilton. Whatever you think is best. But if you truly wish Eliza's happiness, you'll take into consideration what I have said."

There was a prolonged moment of silence before Alexander managed to whisper, "What am I supposed to do?"

"Alexander-" John started.

"Mr Church, if you please, this is between Mr Hamilton and myself." His eyes locked with Alexander's, "File for a divorce."

"What? How would that-"

"No one needs to know the reason. If the court won't grant the divorce, then leave. Eliza will be free to file for a divorce. Once it is realized that you have abandoned her, it will be granted and she will be free to mary. I will wait an acceptable time of course. It will shed no ill light on Eliza, that I promise."

"This is absurd! You can not honestly think that Alexander would-"

"What of the children?" There were very few times in his life that Alexander could remember his voicing being as quiet as it was now. His brain was swirling with all of the words. Not only the ones recently said, but the ones said of his mother, of his father. The secret whispers and shame that came from having come from such a disgraceful home. He never blamed his mother. But his father? It had taken many years for him to ever forgive him. Though he wasn't sure even that was as complete as he would have liked.

The smile was back, falsely gentle. As if a snake was trying to comfort and protect a fallen bird's nest. "I would care for them as my own, for that's what they would be."

"Alexander, don't do this. He is a liar. This isn't the answer."

"And firing guns at each other is? Mr Church, I thought you were a civil man."

John glared at him, still holding onto Alexander, thought likely more for own sake than for the others in the room.

"Well, Mr Hamilton? How do you wish to go about it? Honour," he puffed up his chest proudly, only to shrink back into a meek countenance, "or love?"

The silence was tense and foreboding. It lasted much too long to be comfortable. Alexander drew a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"I'll have the divorce papers signed by tomorrow."

Shaking away his brother-in-law's hands, he walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we all just take a moment to cry for my precious baby? He just loves Eliza so much 😭😭😭.
> 
> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> New chapter on Friday (Lord willing).
> 
> And check out my Macbeth rewrite using the Founding Fathers, "They Think Me Macbeth".
> 
> Anyway... until then!
> 
> Gosh bless,  
Jamie


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelica and Eliza talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but I've been sick the last couple days. And to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of this chapter. I just can't seem to get it to flow right. 
> 
> This is a very dialogue-heavy chapter. 
> 
> I hope you like it at least a little bit...

_February 1798_

_Eliza_

Eliza stared blankly at the fireplace in front of her. She wasn’t completely sure how long it had been since her husband had left. All she knew was that she never meant for any of it to happen.

Then her daughter, Angelica, had come out of her room. A worried look had been in her eyes as she asked, “Is Papa coming back?”

Her mother’s voice had caught in her throat. “I-I don’t know.”

“He left.”

“Yes, sweetheart.”

“Why?” there was a long pause. “Was it because of Mr Jamison?”

Eliza had eyed her thirteen-year-old daughter carefully. “Why, why would you think that?”

“He kissed your hand.”

“What?!”

“When Mr Jamison came to the house, after Papa had gone to work when he was sick, he kissed your hand.”

“Angelica-”

“And sometimes you get letters. They’re from him, right?’

“Angelica, please-”

“And Papa yelled. But it wasn’t at you. He told someone to get out of the house. It had to be Mr Jamison because I looked out the window and he was the only one there. Then Papa left.”

Eliza hadn’t been able to stop the tears flowing from her eyes. Then William had cried. “Go tend to your brother.”

“But-”

“He’s started crying again.”

Angelica had given a hurt look before nodding. “Yes, mother.”

And now Eliza found herself curled onto the settee, unable to form a valid thought.

Alexander was gone and never coming back.

No, he wouldn’t abandon the children.

He still loved her.

If she could only explain-

A knock at the door brought her out of her thoughts. She was tempted to ignore the caller. But what if it was Alexander?

What if something bad had happened?

Mustering her strength, she opened the door.

“Angelica?”

“Sister,” she practically pushed her way into the sitting room. “I’ve heard you’ve had quite a day.”

“What- what have you heard?” Gossip? Already? It hadn’t even been a full twenty-four hours.

Angelica sat in a tall backed chair, inviting Eliza to sit across from her. She didn’t look pleased.

“Alexander walked out on you.”

“What?”

“I heard he picked up a few of his things and left. Something about a mistress and you finding out. So he left.”

Eliza’s mouth opened in shock. “N-no! Where did you hear that?”

“Then it’s not true?”

“No!”

“But Alexander did walk out.”

“Well yes, but-”

“If not a mistress, then what was his reasoning?” Her eyes bore into her sisters.

Eliza found herself wilting into her chair. “I, he never said he wasn’t coming back.”

“Then you had a fight?”

“I suppose-”

“What about?”

“Angelica, what is your purpose in this?”

Her sister sighed. “I need to know if Alexander was overreacting or not.”

“Have you seen him? What did he-”

“What happened Eliza.”

“I-it was a mistake.”

“What was?”

“Jamison,” her voice came out so incredibly small that she feared her sister didn’t even hear her.

“What about him.”

Angelica knew, Eliza didn’t know how, but she knew. “We were…” she squeezed her eyes shut, “We, we…”

“Were together?”

“No!”

Her sister raised an eyebrow.

“Well, yes, in a way. We only ever kissed. And it was only twice!”

“But Alexander walked in.”

“Yes!”

“And the first time was my house.”

“What? How could you possibly…?”

Angelica pulled out a tightly folded piece of paper, handing it over to her sister.

Eliza’s eyes widened at the words. “Where did you get this?”

“Alexander left it at my house.”

“At your… why was he…?”

“He was acquiring my husband as a Second. It seems he intends to duel. I can only imagine with whom that would be.”

The sarcasm in her sister’s tone stung. She supposed she deserved it. She glanced down at her hands.

“Eliza, I need an honest answer from you.”

The younger sister looked up, meeting Angelica’s eyes. “Do you love Jamison.”

“No.” She stated firmly. “I don’t love him.”

“You love Alexander?”

“Yes.”

“Then why did you kiss Ezra?”

“I didn’t, he-”

“But you went along with it. Twice. You returned his letters and allowed him into your bedroom when your husband was away.”

“I didn’t allow him to-”

“Then your husband just happened to walk in at the exact moment he leaned in for the kiss?”

“No-”

“Then you allowed him to kiss you.”

“Yes! No... I don’t know! Why are you doing this?” The tears she thought she could keep at bay were back.

Angelica sighed, “Because you need to see that you were in the wrong. I need you to understand that you have hurt Alexander to the extent that nothing may ever be okay again. Even if he does come back, it will never be the same.”

The older sister moved so she was crouching directly in front of Eliza. “And I need you to know that regardless of all of that, I will still be here for you. Always.”

Eliza brought her hand up to her mouth to stifle a sob.

“Now,” Angelica rose to her feet and reached out her hands to her sister. “Let’s get you cleaned up before the children get home.”

~H~

Angelica stayed the night, stating that Eliza was in no state of mind to run a household. Neither were truly surprised when Alexander did not return home.

The children, however, were confused. Angelica took the two oldest children and briefly explained what had happened. That their father was upset, but it wasn’t their fault in any way. Both children seemed to know more than they let on, but didn’t challenge their aunt.

Eliza felt like a mess. She was hurt and confused. But she knew it was her fault. She could have easily shut down Jamison from the beginning. It hurt even more knowing that if it hadn’t been for the letter, she might have been able to talk to Alexander. If her husband hadn’t found out that there was more than just the one kiss, from a letter no less, then maybe…

A knock came at the door. Eliza tensed.

“I’ll get it.” Angelica rose from her seat across from the fire, discarding her needlework as she went.

After a moment, Eliza heard the door open.

“John?”

Eliza’s eyes widened and she rushed to the door. “John? What happened? Did Alexander-”

“Mrs Hamilton, please, may we go into the parlour?” Church looked uneasy, as if he was bringing bad news.

Angelica took her sister by the arm, helping her into a seated position. “No,” Eliza whispered, “please, no. He, he can’t be, no.”

Eliza was vaguely aware that the Churches had left the room.

He was dead. He had to be dead. Her husband was dead. Why else would John be here? He had been killed in a duel over her. What did that mean for Jamison? Would he come after her? She wouldn’t accept. She didn’t care what it meant for her and the children. She would not let her husband’s murderer take advantage of the situation. She should have pushed him away a long time ago. Angelica would support her in this. Her sister loved Alexander nearly as much as she did.

“Eliza,” her sister’s voice was gentle. “John needs to speak with you.”

Angelica took a seat beside her sister on the settee and John sat across from them.

“Mrs Hamilton,” he started, sounding unsure. “I come from your husband-”

“Is he dead?” Eliza choked out. She had to know. She couldn’t take this uncertainty anymore.

He glanced at Angelica. “No, he, um, he never went through with the duel.”

An overwhelming sense of relief flooded her only to be overcome with a new fear. “Then…”

“Alexander sent me with this.” he placed a large stack of papers in her lap.

Eliza looked at the top page. “A divorce?” her voice broke. “He’s filing for a divorce?”

“Yes,” Church said apologetically. “Everything is right there. He was extremely… thorough.”

Her hands shook as she glanced through the sheets.

“But… he leaves me… everything?” Eliza didn’t understand. Why would he give everything to her? She was the offending party.

John pressed his lips together. “Did you see the listed reason for divorce?”

After an unsure glance at her brother-in-law, she searched the legal document. When she found the words she couldn’t believe it. “Financial incapabilities?” Her head shot up, “It says that the divorce was filed because he could no longer provide.”

“Yes.” John looked just as displeased as she was, “His main goal when creating the documents was to ensure you were not implemented in a negative way.” He paused, “ And that you could easily remarry once the divorce was finalized.”

“No.” Eliza handed the papers back. “I won’t sign them.”

John looked relieved.

The fire was back in Eliza’s eyes. “I refuse to sign them until I can at least speak to Alexander. That is my right, is it not?”

“It is.” Church smiled, rising from his chair. “But, before I take you to him, I need to know. Do you feel that Alexander hasn’t provided for you?”

“No!” Eliza was horrified at the very idea. “I’m more inclined to say that he works too hard. It was just something he put down to not incriminate. He doesn’t actually believe that.”

The look John gave her contradicted her words.

“He does? But, why?”

“I believe you need to speak with him for yourself. I believe and sincerely hope that Jamison put words in your mouth. That he was willing to use whatever lies it took to be able to… have you.”

Eliza’s eyes darkened, “What did he say?”

“As I said, it is not my place to say. Angelica?”

“I’ll remain here with the children.” The anger simmering behind her calm facade suggested it was better for everyone involved that she stay behind.

“Take me to my husband.” Eliza stood and led Church out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yeah... definitely let me know what you think... even if it's bad. 
> 
> I really didn't know how to write Eliza in this chapter. She's always so... perfect that her not being perfect is... hard to write...
> 
> Anyway...
> 
> Until next week!
> 
> God bless,  
Jamie


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza talks to Alexander.  
Alexander.... doesn't react as well as she hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I am so sorry. I had no intention of staying away for so long. I just had major writer's block and subscription to Disney+. 
> 
> Anyway... here's the long-awaited next chapter! If it seems a bit disjointed, it's on purpose. Alex... isn't in the best, most clear, state of mind in this chapter.
> 
> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> P.S. I don't support drinking in any capacity (I'm not here for an argument, just stating my opinion) so don't think any of Alex's actions are necessarily endorsed. 
> 
> WARNING: Anxiety Attacks, Self Hate, and Borderline Suicidal Thoughts

_ February 1798 _

_ Alexander _

He was exhausted, absolutely exhausted. Alexander couldn't remember the last time he had slept for enough time worth mentioning. This wasn't completely unusual, but the overwhelming heartbreak added to his physical exhaustion causing a strange haze to cover his entire world. 

It didn’t matter now. It was done. John would return with the signed papers and this entire nightmare would be over. Well, not over exactly, more like…. Decided. His fate would be decided. He would have to wait and see what Eliza did. If she and Jamison decided to stay in the City he would have to leave. If they went back to Albany, he would be able to stay. Not that it mattered. After the news broke, he would be lucky to get any clients. Maybe it was best for him to leave regardless. 

He downed another shot of whisky, before refilling the glass. The burning caused by the alcohol almost matched the burning caused by his wet eyes. But nothing could match the burning in his heart. If he didn’t know any better, he would say that his heart had been stabbed with a flaming arrow. Who decided cupid’s arrow was a good thing? Why was something used in wartime to cause pain also used to represent love? Maybe it was trying to say what Alexander was slowly coming to realize, love hurts. Pain and love were nearly synonymous. Cupid’s arrow indeed.

Glass in hand, he moved to stand by the window. It was raining. How appropriate. The sky had darkened to a dismal grey, easily matching his own mood.

A brief knock sounded at the door. “Come in.” He kept his back turned, his eyes on the dreary street. 

“Alexander,” The voice was feminine. The voice was Eliza. 

His breath caught in his throat.

“Alexander, please, we need to talk.”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he slightly sloshed his whisky, took a small sip, then tipped the entire glass back. 

The burning seemed to give him the power he needed as he turned around, locking eyes with his wife. She seemed startled by his sudden movement, or perhaps it was the anger clearly shown on his face. Up until this moment all anger had been directed towards Jamison. Now, whether it was the exhaustion, her presence, or perhaps he was simply more drunk than he intended, but the anger had once again been roused and aimed, this time, towards Eliza. 

“Talk? About what? Surely there isn’t anything that needs to be discussed. You’ve barely spoken to me in a month, and now you want to talk? Why? I left you everything, I’ve given you your freedom, what else do you want?” The glass in his hand shattered as he involuntarily squeezed it. 

Eliza took a step back as if frightened, then moved forward. “Alexander, your hand.” 

“Don’t touch me!” Hamilton hissed, jerking away. She stopped and he wrapped his handkerchief around the cut on his hand. 

“Alexander, please, I came here to talk. I need to- I can’t sign the papers.”

Hamilton let out a rueful laugh, “Really now? Why not? Feeling guilty now?” She flinched at that and Alexander wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“It’s fine,” he whispered, sinking into his chair, “you don’t have to lie anymore. Jamison told me everything. You don’t have to feel guilty about anything. Just sign the papers and leave.”

She shook her head, “No, I won’t. What did he tell you? What lie could he possibly spin that would cause you to cast me away.”

“Me, cast you away?” He slammed his fist on the desk, “Eliza, this isn’t about me! This is about you! About making you happy! I don’t want you to be stuck in a marriage if you don’t want to be! I would never do that to you, Eliza, don’t you see? If you feel that I can’t provide for you, then you should have someone who can!”

“Alexander, I never said that. I don’t want anyone but you. If you insist on divorce, I will grant it, but for you, not for me. I will never marry again, Hamilton. Not because of divorce or death. Because I love you, Alexander. I love you. Not Ezra, not anyone but you.”

Alexander stood up, unable to sit still any longer. He began to pace behind his desk. His head was buzzing with everything. All he wanted to do was the right thing. Why did that always seem to be so hard?

“What happened with Jamison was a mistake. Nothing was done out of love, only a sinful lust. I never slept with him, Alexander. We kissed twice. Once at the party and once yesterday, that is it. I swear to you. I love you and none else. Don’t let Jamison manipulate you into doing something you will regret. Because I know it is something I will regret for the rest of my life. If you truly love me, come home. Forget everything Jamison said and come home.”

He couldn’t breathe. The walls were closing in on him. Someone touched his arm and he jerked back, eyes wildly searching for his attacker. 

“Alexander? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I, I can’t-” Was he having a heart attack? He put a hand to his chest like that would somehow provide more oxygen. 

He felt his knees give way under him and would have fallen completely if not for Eliza holding him up. 

“John!” Eliza called. Alexander wanted to intervene but the black spots overtaking his vision hindered him. He was on his knees now. An unrelenting pounding had settled behind his eyes. He hissed in a breath while Eliza continued to call for help. 

He should be stopping this. He shouldn’t be letting her help. He shouldn’t be bothering John? He’d already been such a bother. 

He couldn’t do anything right. At the moment he couldn’t even breathe right. Jamison was right. 

But Eliza said he wasn’t.

But how could he not be? 

How could a poor orphan ever think that he was good enough to mary Eliza Schuylar, the most perfect woman on earth?

Who was he really mad at? Eliza? Jamison? Or was it just himself? Was he just mad at himself for ignoring reality for too long? For letting things get this far. For once in his life having hope that things could get better for him? 

For not accepting that he was worthless.

But Eliza said-

It didn’t matter was Eliza said. 

He needed to…

Needed… 

Alexander took a choking breath, the voices around him made his head spin. He couldn’t deal with this right. 

He needed to...

Needed…

He needed…

Sleep. 

His body obeyed for the first time in days. 

Everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> It's not my favourite chapter, but it's what I got today. 
> 
> Poor Alex baby just needs a hug and some self-assurance.
> 
> I plan to start uploading properly again after today. Maybe not tomorrow, but by next Friday. 
> 
> And if you guys are into Dear Evan Hansen, go check out my DEH one-shot, "(DEH) MY Suicide Note This Time" (or "Stars in Our Eyes" for my Wattpad friends).
> 
> Until then!
> 
> God bless,  
Jamie


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza confronts Jamison.   
Hamilton makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY! NO, SERIOUSLY, I FEEL AWFUL.   
I never meant to go so long without updating. I just hit this giant wall of writer's block and could not get myself to words no matter how hard I tried. All I could write was Newsies One-shots even though I knew I should be writing this and... sigh... writing is hard. 
> 
> Anyway... thanks for your guys' patience! 
> 
> This is the last chapter *gasp* and no, I'm not rushing it because of lack of inspiration. This is just a natural place to end it. And before you completely panic, I have an epilogue (already completely written!) that I will upload at some point this week.
> 
> On a completely unrelated note, I'm on Tumblr now! It's Trekkiehood per usual. I shall be keeping you people updated on current and future writing endeavours, so please follow me if you are interested in that. 
> 
> Look at that, makes you wait a month and then rambles on forever. Again, sorry...
> 
> Please enjoy!

_February 1798  
_ _Eliza_

There was nothing she could do. John was leaning over her husband. Alexander had collapsed right in front of her. She couldn't stop it.

Eliza stood near the desk watching her brother-in-law work. Peter was standing by the door with wide eyes.

John looked up, "He's still breathing. Peter, get a cab. We need to get him," he raised an eyebrow at Eliza.

"Home." She decided firmly.

He nodded, "We need to get him home as soon as possible."

The boy sprinted out of the room, a panicked look on his face. Eliza couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him. It had probably been a chaotic week. Alexander could be... difficult to get along with when he was stressed.

Eliza was worried, particularly when her husband didn't rouse, even during the difficult transition into the Cab.

When they reached the house, she rushed to open the door for John. Angelical gasped when she saw her husband carrying Alexander.

"Wha-what happened?" she gasped, covering her mouth.

Eliza felt tears sting her eyes, "I-I don't know. He j-just collapsed." She couldn't let herself cry. She needed to be strong, for Alexander.

~H~

"Acute stress." the doctor said, closing his bag.

Eliza blinked, she couldn't wait for Dr Hosack to return. He had a special way with Alexander and knew of all his past ailments. It just seemed a bit far fetched. "Stress? But, he passed out. How-?"

"What you described was an attack of over baring stress. The reason he is now unconscious is a combination of lack of sleep and food. The stress just triggered it. I would advise to let him rest as long as possible. When he awakens, try to get him to eat something, keep him hydrated, and try to remove stress."

That was easier said than done in this particular situation. "Thank you, doctor."

The doctor nodded before leaving.

Eliza felt completely drained. She had hoped that talking to him would fix, or at least help, with things. It had only made things worse.

There was a quiet knock on the door. "Eliza?" Angelica let herself in, shutting the door behind her.

"He, um, the doctor seems to think that he will be okay. That it was just... stress." She worked to keep the tears from falling. Everything was just so overwhelming.

Angelica gently wrapped her arms around her sister. She just held her a moment before pulling away. She gripped her shoulders, keeping eye contact. "Eliza, I need you to listen to me. I know it's been a rough day. I know it's been hard, but Jamison is downstairs. He's asking to see you. This is something you have to deal with."

"Angelica... I don't know if-"

The older sister shook her head. "You have to. You have to decide if you want Ezra, or if you want Alexander."

"I already know who I want!"

"Then you have to tell him! If you don't tell him now, he's never going to leave you alone. You have to tell him how you feel so he doesn't think he just has to come back a month, or a year, later. He honestly thinks you love him. You have to tell him you don't."

"Angelica, please, I-I can't." Why didn't she understand?

"Do it for your husband."

Eliza stopped. Yes. She had to, for Alexander.

"Stay with him?"

Angelica gave a sad smile, "Of course, dear."

Eliza smoothed her dress, took a deep breath, and made her way downstairs.

"Eliza!" Jamison rushed towards her, taking bother of her hands.

She jerked away, he was undeterred. "I've spoken with Alexander-"

"Yes, and so have I." she kept her voice calm yet firm.

His face lit up, "Good! Oh good! So you know!"

"Yes, I am well aware of your agreement."

"Then run away with me, right now. We can get married in secret. We don't have to make it public." He reached for her hand again.

Eliza did the only thing she could think to do, she slapped him.

Shock was the first thing to register on Jamison's face, his eyes widened as he took a step backwards.

"Listen here, Ezra Jamison." she put a finger in his face, her voice low. Anger like few had ever seen shown in her eyes. The man in question took another step back. "I am married. Married to the love of my life. I love Alexander like I could never love anyone else. More than I could ever love you. I have promised myself to him. I have promised my love to him. You decided that I loved you, I never said I loved you."

"But-"

"The kiss? I believe you initiated it both times. Regardless, I think you should have consulted me before telling my husband I wished for a divorce!"

"But Eliza-!"

"You have no idea what I want! You think I want money? Power? None of that is necessary, do you know why? Because I have love! True, happy, fulfilling, love. I have a family. I have this little house in the city and a husband who cares more about supporting me then he cares for his own health. I have a husband who was willing to do whatever it took to make me happy. And I am happy Jamison. Something you will never be, even with your money and houses in the country. So no. I will not go with you. I refused the divorce. And even if Alexander never forgives me, I will stay by his side and love him. So," she smiled calmly, folding her hands in front of you. "If you would please leave my house, I believe you have overstayed your welcome."

Ezra stammered, backing up. Just as he reached to turn the doorknob, Eliza grabbed his arm.

"And Ezra," He turned back with a hopeful look in his eyes. "I never wish to see you again. All letters will be burned without being opened. So I advise you save your time and stationary." She dropped his arm.

Jamison looked as though he might cry. He yanked the door open and left without another word.

"Well my dear," Eliza turned to see John standing behind her, smiling. "I believe you handled that quite tastefully."

She smiled a watery smile. "I don't think he will be coming to call anytime soon."

Her brother-in-law nodded. "Why don't you go tend to your husband."

~H~

Alexander remained unconscious for hours. Eliza sat in a chair beside his bed, slowly becoming claimed by sleep as she listened to her husband breathe. Her eyes were closed, but she knew that there was a stack of letters on the nightstand. She planned to dispose of them, but she wanted Alexander awake for the occasion.

A sharp cry to her right caused her to jump. Hamilton had been sleeping peacefully since the initial collapse, but now he was tossing violently, making strangled noises.

"Alexander!" She touched his forearm lightly, only for him to jerk back, bolting upright.

His eyes were wild as he breathed heavily. "Eliza?"

"It's me." Her voice was so quiet, a stark contrast to her previous bravado.

He blinked at her, confusion in his eyes. "You're still here?"

"Yes," she choked out, her heart breaking at the implications. There was a pause. She took a trembling breath, "Yes, and there is something you need to see." She held out the letters.

"These, these are all of the letters Jamison has sent me in the last month. They mean nothing to me. He means nothing to me. I have told him so." She walked over to the fireplace holding them out over the open flame, before finally dropping them. The fire began to eat at them, browning the corners and curling in around the edges. "I have told him to never return. I do not love him. I love you."

Alexander didn't respond. He stayed silent, staring at her. Eliza could feel the familiar feeling of tears beginning to prick at her eyes.

"I, um," A small sob, broke through the careful mask composer she had been wearing all day."I will leave you to rest." She turned to leave when a voice stopped her.

"Stay." Alexander was propped up on one arm and holding out his other hand towards her. "Please?"

The dam finally broke, tears flowing freely down her face as sobs racked her body. She took his hand, curling up beside him.

"It's okay Betsey," he whispered into her hair. He continued to hold her for a moment before adding, "I love you."

Eliza cried even harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that!   
As I said, there will be an epilogue that kind of ties everything up at the end. 
> 
> And a final reminder to find me on Tumblr!
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Of this chapter, and the story in general.
> 
> God bless,  
Jamie


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three months later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we come to the very end of this story. I was going to wait to post this, but I wanted to finish it in the same decade as I started it 😅.
> 
> Please enjoy this little snippet three months later.

_ May 1798 _ _   
_ _ Angelica H. _

“Alexander!” A giggle was heard from the kitchen, “I’m trying to bake!”

More giggles before the response of, “I know, but you just look so beautiful with all that flour on your dress.”

A  _ thwack  _ followed by intense laughter and petty insults carried through the house. 

It had been a while since her parents had been so… childish. It was almost refreshing, in that embarrassing type of way. Too many long nights could make Papa angry, and ever since Mr Jamison had shown up all those months ago, Mama would get upset more easily. She knew they fought more than they ever had before, but she also knew better than to say anything. But they had been getting better. They hadn’t yelled at each other in weeks and today they seemed… happy. Like they used to be. It made a smile subconsciously appear on the girl’s face.

A knock at the door drew Angelica from her thoughts. “I’ll get it!” She called out, even though it probably wasn’t very ladylike. Then again, her mother was currently chasing her father with a mixing spoon.

“Well, hello there little miss.” The mailman tipped his hat at her. “I believe I have some mail for you.” He said producing a small stack of envelopes. 

The girl smiled, accepting the letters with a word of thanks. The man again tipped his hat and was on his way. 

Angelica looked through the stack. Her father sure got a lot of letters. Then she froze at the sight of a familiar envelope. She knew this stationary. It was a letter addressed to Momma. It was from Jamison. 

“Why did I ever marry you?” Followed a high pitch squeal from a room over.

“Because you  _ love  _ me.” returned the silly voice her father only used when he talked about Momma. 

Angelica looked at the letter, then walked over to the fire, and dropped it into the burning flame. 

And with that, Ezra Jamison was erased from the narrative. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all folks!  
But as they say, "Part of the journey is the end."
> 
> Please let me know what you thought of this story.  
I put a lot of a work and research into it.  
It's bittersweet to finally have it done...
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented! It made me so happy every time I saw that someone has written a review. 
> 
> While I might still write for Hamilton a bit, I'm currently diving into the Newsies fandom, so if you're into that, check me out!
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr for more info. @Trekkiehood
> 
> Thank you for this incredible journey!
> 
> God bless,  
Jamie


End file.
